Dad's Guide to Surviving the Summer

Summer break is here, and if you're a parent, you know exactly what that means—more snacks, more road trips, more boredom battles, and a lot more chaos.

In Episode 17 of Mostly Me, Occasionally Wise, Brian shares his completely unofficial, highly questionable, Dad-approved guide to surviving the summer. From lowering expectations and building the ultimate road trip survival pack to creating the perfect summer playlist and protecting family traditions, this episode is packed with humor, relatable parenting moments, and a reminder to enjoy the little things before summer slips away.

Whether you're planning a family vacation, spending weekends at the ball field, or just trying to keep everyone entertained until school starts back, this episode is for you.

In this episode:

☀️ Why lowering your expectations can actually improve your summer

🚗 The ultimate road trip survival pack every parent needs

🎵 How to build the perfect summer playlist

🏖️ Why family vacations aren't really vacations

😩 Emergency boredom plans for when the kids have "nothing to do"

🍦 The importance of summer traditions and family memories

❤️ A reminder that these summers go by faster than we think

Join the conversation and share your favorite summer survival tips!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Summer break has officially arrived. The kids are home, the grocery bill has doubled, the gas tank is always empty, and somehow, despite a house full of toys, everyone is bored. If you're trying to survive vacations, snack attacks, sunscreen battles, and the longest days of the year, you are in the right place. Today we're talking about the keys to surviving the summer. Welcome back to Mostly Me, Occasionally Wise Podcast, where we navigate marriage, parenting, family life, and all the beautiful chaos in between. I'm your host, Brian, and today we're talking about the keys to surviving the summer. From endless snack requests and family vacations to boredom battles, road trips, and making memories along the way. Summer can be one of the best, but also the most exhausting times of the year. So whether you're spending your days at the ball field, planning a family vacation, trying to survive the neighborhood pool, or just figuring out how to keep everyone entertained until school starts back up, this is going to be the episode for you. Because let's be honest, summer starts with big plans. And by August, most of us are just trying to make it back to school season with our sanity intact. But before we dive into today's topic, it's time for everyone's favorite segment, Dad Life Debrief. So if you're new to this show, Dad Life Debrief is an opportunity for you to get to come and hang out with me outside of the podcast. It's where I talk about my week, you know, the struggles, trials, tribulations, triumphs, everything you can think of with being a husband, father, and family man. And this week was a good one. This weekend was busy. We had a sleepover. My 13-year-old invited one of his best friends over. And it's funny because when you have more than one kid, there's always the younger sibling that wants to be in the mix of things when it comes to a sleepover. And you know, we have the 13-year-old and we have the four-year-old. The four-year-old wants to be all up in the 13-year-old's business, especially when the friend is over. Because he just wants to be included. For any of us that are the oldest siblings and have younger siblings, you know, you know what I'm talking about. And usually the 13-year-old does really well. But this weekend you could kind of tell it was bothering him a little bit. Because, you know, the four-year-old is gonna do what he does, and he's gonna do it whether you want him to or not. So while they were doing the sleepover, you could kind of sense a little hostility, and we would bring the four-year-old, you know, over to us to give him and his friend, you know, an opportunity to hang out. But my 13-year-old's best friend who we invited also wanted to spend time with the four-year-old. And I thought it was the sweetest thing in the world. Of course, we oftentimes reiterated that hey, if the four-year-old's becoming too much, please just let us know. We'll, you know, go find something to do with him and let you guys just hang out. But there wasn't any issues, they ended up having a great time. And Sunday, Nana Risa and Papa came over, and they actually just left a few minutes ago. But of course, when grandparents come over, the kids are all about the grandparents, and that just makes my heart feel good. And with my four-year-old, you know, especially with both sets of grandparents, he thinks they hung the moon. So he's all up in their business, wanting to play games on their phone, wanting to hang out with them, wanting to go swimming. So we went swimming, and the grandparents didn't necessarily want to get in the pool. Nana Risa went and hung out with my wife Becca, and Papa sat out with live with us for a little bit until the mosquitoes were starting to get a little bad, and he went back in. And it was just me and the two boys. Of course, we wrestled for a little while and had fun, and it started to get dark, and the 13-year-old said he wanted to go inside. So he went inside. I told him to take a shower to get all the chlorine and salt off of him, and to kind of come back out to me and let me know when he's done so he could play Switch or the PlayStation or the PC, whatever he felt like doing. So that just left me and the four-year-old outside. And I've talked about this in multiple episodes. The four-year-old is a daddy's boy. And we had a great night. We were sitting in the pool, we were talking about birds because he's obsessed with birds, insects, and fish right now. That's just his thing. And he loves watching the birds fly, and there were a lot that were flying last night, especially you know, the closer to dark it got. And then I had mentioned something about bats, and he wanted to look for bats, and I think we saw two bats, and he thought it was the greatest thing in the world. Of course, he didn't he he was concerned at first because he didn't want the bat to dive bomb us in the pool. And I'm like, you're not gonna have to worry about that necessarily. Bats are not gonna come and attack us for no reason at all. So, I mean, we sat there and we looked, we, you know, laid on our backs in the pool. We we looked at the stars, looked at the birds flying by. I did silly voices of the birds as they flew by. And of course, when we saw the bats, his eyes got big and he thought it was the coolest thing in the world. And it was just it was an amazing, you know, 30 minutes where it was just he and I. And I know Father's Day is coming up, and I'm really stressed this year that I I want to do something with the kids individually because with our chaotic life, Becca nor I get the opportunity to do that very much. And for Mother's Day, she wanted to do that with them, and I want to do the same. I don't know what our plans are, but with the four-year-old, he loves swimming with me, he loves you know, baking cookies with me, and he likes just looking at insects and stuff with me. So I kind of got a feeling that's what it's going to be based around. But Sunday night, just being able to lay out there in the pool and just it was it was really, really awesome to have a four-year-old serious talk. And it's not emotionally in-depth, but it's just talking about fish, it's talking about the summer, it's talking about the bats, you know, him taking swim lessons and how he he struggles to listen because he he in his mind feels like he knows how to swim, but he doesn't. You know, on the shallow end of the pool, he can tiptoe across, and we, you know, we take his life jacket off when he's in the shallow end, of course, with one of us nearby. But in the deep end, he's still struggling to keep his head above water, and that's frustrating for him because he wants to be in the deep end with all the other kids. So we've had to tell him when it comes to swim class, you gotta listen to your teacher, bud, because your teacher is teaching you how to swim on the deep end. And so, you know, yesterday we had swim class, and it was a success. He had a lot of fun and he listened, and I was so proud of him, and he struggles with swimming on his back and floating on his back, I think everybody does when they first start swimming, because it's just giving up that control and letting the water keep you afloat. And he did great. And of course, when he did it in swim class, he looked over at me, smiling from ear to ear. You know, I gave him a thumbs up with a big smile on my face, and so it's just amazing having those little moments, especially with your kids. You know, with the 13-year-old I mentioned in last week's episode, we are turning a road in our relationship. We've kind of found common ground and what we both need to work on, and we are both working on those things, and so throughout the week we were laughing and joking. Of course, there's some movies coming out he wants to go see. Granted, some of those movies may not be appropriate for a 13-year-old, but that's the conversation I'll have with Becca because movies nowadays are just uh they're not like they were when I was younger. Like when a movie was rated R, it was rated R for obvious reasons. Nowadays, I kind of feel like the rating system is a little too sensitive. But at the same time, you know, we need, you know, Becca and I want to be the best parents we can be and not throw things at our kids when they're not ready for them, as far as you know, pop culture, entertainment, social media, and all that is concerned. But 13-year-old I and I had another great week. We're gonna hang out some today, whether it's just him playing, you know, Minecraft on the PC, and I'm playing Dave the Diver on PlayStation, just being in the same room, just being present, or who knows, maybe we'll go see He-Man or a movie. But that has yet to be determined. So this week has just been an amazing week. The 19-year-old, she's she's living life and thriving. Her relationship with her boyfriend is just amazing to watch develop, especially with someone who struggled with having that kind of closeness with a boy. And it's just awesome, of course, to see him treat my daughter the way and you know she deserves to be treated. So, man, it's just a life is just good right now. And to be honest with you, I couldn't ask for anything else. I'm just really looking forward to Father's Day because uh kids always do pretty awesome stuff when it comes to us, and it's just yeah, man, it's just it's just crazy how good life is right now. Now, let's get into my keys to surviving the summer. Key number one, lower your expectations. Now, if you're like me, when summer comes around, your internal Clark Griswold comes out. And if you don't understand that reference, go back and check out National Lampoon's Vacation, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and you'll completely understand what I mean by my internal Clark Griswold coming out. You know, when summer finally rolls around, you have big dreams. You picture family adventure, perfect vacation, smiling kids, relaxing evenings on the patio. Every summer I convince myself that this is going to be the year that we have the most amazing perfect summer. The house is going to stay clean, the kids are going to spend time outside, we're all going to have family game nights, we're going to eat together, you know, every night for dinner. And then some, you know, summer actually arrives. And it's 133 degrees, especially here in the south, because we have heat and humidity. The kids are arguing over who touched who. The dog is trying to figure out whether it wants to stay in or out because it enjoys being outside, but it's just so hot that it wants to come inside. The the AC bill is spiking because the kids are doing the same thing the dog wants to do. They get bored inside the house, they go outside, and then they're outside for like three minutes, and they're like, oh, we're dying, we're coming back in. It's just cra it's just complete chaos. It really, really is. And over my years of being a husband and a father, I've learned something about the summers. The pressure to create the perfect summer is oftentimes what ruins the summer. Social media doesn't help. Everybody's posting beast beach vacations, you know, perfect family photos, amazing ventures. Meanwhile, I'm celebrating because my boys have learned to put the toilet seat down because we have women living in the house. And to me, that's a win. And and one of my favorite family members wasn't even a planned event. You know, it was the memories where everything got rained out, plans were canceled, we stayed in the house, we ordered pizza, watched movies, we hung out together. And at the time, of course, it felt like a backup plan, but now it's honestly, you know, the memories that we talk about the most. The goal isn't a perfect summer, the goal is honestly a memorable summer, and those are two very different things. So give yourself some grace. Not every day needs to be magical, not every vacation needs to be picture perfect, not every activity needs to become a core memory. Some days are just survival days, and and that's okay because years from now, your kids probably won't remember the perfect schedule you created. They'll remember laughing together, being together, and the stories that came from the days when honestly everything went wrong. Once you stop chasing the perfect summer, life gets easier. But there is one place where preparation actually matters. And that's when you load everybody into a vehicle and head out on the summer road trips. Because if you've ever traveled with kids, you know one thing: the trip can fall apart long before you even reach your destination, and that is why the second key is all about building the ultimate road trip survival pack. Every family road trip starts with optimism. The night before the trip, you're feeling good. You've got the hotel booked, the route planned, the bags packed, the snacks purchased. You feel prepared. Life is good. Then departure day arrives. And suddenly you're playing Tetris with luggage in the back of a vehicle, no one can find their shoes, someone's forgotten a charger, and before you even back out of the driveway, someone has to use the bathroom. Road trips with kids are less about travel, but honestly, more about logistics. At this point, every parent becomes an operations manager, and that's why every family needs a road trip survival pack. First, snacks. Not a few snacks, but a ridiculous amount of snacks. Honestly, enough snacks to survive a minor natural disaster because kids somehow become twice as hungry when they're sitting in a moving vehicle. Next, you have drinks. Because somebody will get thirsty exactly six minutes after passing the last gas station. And if you're like me, you hate spending money at gas stations because everything in life right now is expensive, especially in gas stations. Next, we have chargers. And just when you think you have enough chargers, bring extra chargers. And then after that, bring up backup chargers for the extra chargers. Because hearing my tablet die can completely change the mood of a four-hour drive. It really honestly can. And then you have wipes. If not wipes, paper towels. If not paper towels, you bring them both. And and and I honestly don't know why. And I don't know how. I just know that every experienced parent that's listening nodded when I mentioned wipes or paper towels, or just bringing them both. The backseat of a family vehicle somehow becomes a crime scene involving sticky fingers, mystery stains, and crumbs that appear from nowhere. And it's true. It's a magic trick I've yet to figure out, and I don't think I'm ever going to be able to figure it out. Then comes entertainment. Books, games, downloaded movies, coloring books, maybe even a backup playlist because eventually someone is going to get tired of whatever they're listening to. And the real danger isn't running out of gas, it really isn't it's running out of distractions. And of course, let's talk about the gas station stops. Why is it that every quick bathroom break turns out into a $40 purchase? You walk in for one bottle of water because the drinks you have brought are just not working, and they're whining and complaining, and you're just trying to hear it, you're tired of hearing about it, so you cave in. But when you go in for one bottle of water, you end up leaving with chips, candy, beef jerky, two sports drinks, and somehow, sometimes an uh you know, a souvenir. If you've ever been to Bucky's, yeah, you're just you're done for. Just get ready to spend some money. And the crazy thing is, everybody walks back to the car acting like they only bought one thing, and they didn't. The goal isn't to create the perfect road trip, the goal is to arrive at your destination while still honestly liking each other, tolerating each other. And if everybody gets out of the car smiling and laughing, to parents that's considered a bonus. So now you've you you packed the snacks, loaded the chargers, you grabbed wipes or paper towels or both, and somehow all the luggage is squeezed into the car. There's one more thing that every road trip needs: music. Because no summer road trip is complete without the perfect soundtrack, which brings us to key number three: building the perfect summer playlist. Every great summer has a soundtrack. You hear a certain song and suddenly you're transported back to a summer vacation of your own, a baseball game, a beach trip, a late night drive with the windows down. Music has a way of attaching itself to memories. And that's why every summer playlist honestly needs a few essentials. First is the windows down anthem, the the song that makes you turn the volume up, the one that instantly feels like summer. And for our family, we love Imagine Dragons. And when I think of Windows Down Anthem, Take Me to the Beach is the first song that pops up. It's catchy. It's it's just uh it's just you can't help but sing when it's on. You can't help but turn it up. It just gets you into it gets you into the mood for the vacation you're fixing to go on. And then, of course, the second one is the road trip classic, the the one everybody knows, the one everybody sings, whether they want to or not. And if you're thinking about a road trip classic, especially for me, it's anything Michael Jackson Beat It, Thriller, Dirty Diana, just Michael Jackson in general has a million songs that we just love and adore. But we've listened to those songs so many times that whether we want to sing them or not, you can't help but sing them because it's just they're classics. And then next you have the nostalgia track, and this song instantly takes you back. And for me, those songs are time machines. Like I hear them, and suddenly I'm remembering summer vacations from years ago. And the first line that pops in my head here is your love by the outfield, and there that whole album, play play ball, is an amazing album. But The Outfield, Your Love, every time I hear that song, being that I grew up in the 80s and 90s, just triggers a lot of happy memories for me when it comes to just memories in general. Next, you you know, every every playlist needs a guilty pleasure song. Yeah, and you know the song I'm talking about, the the one you claim you don't like, but somehow you know every word too. I don't I don't really I can't really think of one off the top of my head that falls into this category. Ice ice baby, maybe. And it's not that I don't like the song, it's just very overplayed in the 90s, and I get more enjoyment out of listening to my wife rap this one out because she's 100% white and it shows when she's singing Ice Ice Baby, but I love it and I adore every second of it. And then, you know, the real challenge when it comes to building a playlist honestly isn't just building the playlist, it's sharing control of the playlist because everybody wants to be the DJ. I want to listen to classic rock, Becca wants to listen to something everyone can enjoy, and the kids want you know the same song 17 times in a row, especially my four-year-old. And at some point, everyone just agrees to disagree, anyways, and we sing the songs. I mean, that's summer. And if your summer playlist creates a few memories along the way, then you've done it right. The funny thing about summer playlist is that most of our favorite songs are attached to memories, like I've said, road trips, vacation, family adventures. And speaking of vacations, let's talk about one of the greatest parenting myths of of all time. That every family vacation that you go on is supposed to be relaxing. And that brings me to key number four. Except that family vacations, honestly, aren't family vacations. Let me be honest for a second. Family vacations, they aren't really vacations. They're parenting in a different location. Usually somewhere significantly more expensive. Before kids, vacations were about relaxing. You slept in, you know, you did whatever you wanted. You ate when you were hungry. You you went where you wanted to go. After kids, vacations become project management. You're coordinating schedules, packing bags, making reservations, finding restaurants. You're trying to keep everyone happy. And carrying things around that you honestly know that may not even belong to you. Because every parent becomes a pack mule on vacation. It's true. And I don't even know how it happens. You start the day carrying your own stuff, and then an hour later you're carrying towels, water bottles, sunglasses, snacks, flip-flops, three random items nobody claims ownership of, or you may be even carrying a child with carrying all these things. And let's not forget the packing process. Vacation packing with kids feels like you're preparing for a six-month expedition. You need clothes, then extra clothes, backup clothes for the extra clothes, medicine, chargers, snacks, sunscreen, favorite stuffed animals. And somehow there's always one thing that gets forgotten. Always. No matter how many lists you make, no matter how many times you check that list, something gets left behind, and there is a kid that reminds you of that. And there will be hell to pay. Then comes the hotel room. One room, multiple people, different bedtimes, different schedules, different expectations. And somehow nobody sleeps as well as they do at home. And yet, despite all of that, all of that, all of the negativity that that goes around that, vacation memories are oftentimes some of the best memories. Because not everything goes perfectly. It honestly doesn't. It's the wrong turns, it's it's the funny stories, the unexpected adventures, the things that go completely off script. Years later, that's what everybody remembers. Nobody remembers the itinerary, they remember complete chaos. And that's why vacations are worth it. Not because they're relaxing, because they they become part of your family's story. Now, whether you're on vacation or sitting at home, every parent eventually runs into the same challenge. Boredom. And if you got kids, you already know exactly what that sounds like. It usually starts with two words. I'm bored. Which brings me to key number five is all about having an emergency boredom plan. There is no phrase more dangerous during the summer than I'm bored. Those two words have the power to ruin an entire afternoon, if not an entire vacation. And and what's funny is that kids today have more entertainment options than any generation in history. They have movies, video games, streaming services, sports, friends, bikes, pools, tablets, phones. And somehow boredom survives with all of those things. I remember being a kid, and my parents had one very simple solution for boredom. Go outside. That was it. No discussion, no dego, no negotiation, no brainstorming session, no PowerPoint presentation, explaining available activities. Just go outside. And when we went outside, we just figured it out. We rode bikes, we built forts, we played games, we hit each other with sticks, we explored the neighborhood, we made up ridiculous adventures. We were bored, honestly, for about five minutes, and then our imaginations took over. I think boredom gets a bad reputation. Sometimes boredom is what creates creativity. Sometimes boredom is what leads kids to discover new interests. Sometimes boredom is what gets them off the screen and doing something they never would have considered otherwise. But that doesn't mean every parent shouldn't have a backup plan. Actually, they should have several backup plans. Because your first suggestion will always get rejected. Then your second suggestion will get rejected as well. And somehow your third suggestion, even though you thought was terrible, becomes the greatest idea in family history. Water balloons, movie nights, board games, a trip for ice cream, a walk around the neighborhood, anything that changes the momentum. Because once boredom spreads through the house, you're in trouble. It's like a summer virus. One kid gets it, then suddenly everybody has it. And somehow it becomes your responsibility to step in and cure it. The funny thing is, most activities we come up with to fight boredom, you know, aren't they the things our kids are going to remember years later? They want to remember tradition. The things we do every summer, the moments we can count on. And that's why key number six is one of my favorites. Proche protect your summer traditions. When you think back to your childhood summers, what do you remember? Probably not the random Tuesdays. You honestly remember tradition. The cookouts, the fireworks, the family reunions, the annual vacations, ice cream runs, the little things that happened every year. Those moments matter. Because, you know, it's it's not that they were expensive, it's not because they were elaborate. It was because they were consistent. Kids remember consistency. They remember the things they can always count on. Traditions become landmarks in their childhood. They really do. And now we as parents get the opportunity to create those traditions with our own families. Some traditions are planned, others happen completely by accident. Those are my favorite ones. You know, maybe maybe it's getting ice cream after a baseball game. Maybe it's a family movie night, maybe it's a cookout with friends, maybe it's a lake trip every summer. The important thing isn't what the tradition is. The important thing is that it becomes a part of your family story. Years from now, your kids won't remember every summer, you know, everything that happened during the summer daily. They'll remember the traditions. And one day they'll probably continue those traditions with their own families. And as a dad and a husband, that's pretty cool to think about. And when you really honestly think about it, traditions are important because they give us something to hold on to. They mark seasons, they create memories, and before you know it, another summer has passed, which leads to what I think is the most important key of all. Key number seven. Remember that all of this goes fast. I know, I know, nobody likes the serious section, but just stick with me. Summers have a funny way of playing tricks on parents. The days feel long and the weeks feel chaotic, but somehow over the years, it moves by so quickly. One summer you're teaching your kid how to ride a bike, the next they're riding miles ahead ahead of you. One summer they're asking you to play with them, and then the next they're making plans with friends. And the older you get, you realize these summers aren't going to last forever. And as parents, we spend a lot of time trying to manage the chaos, the schedules, the activities, the vacations, the expenses. And you, you know, before you know it, the summer's over. And that's why I think, you know, the most important key to surviving summer is remembering to be present. Now, don't be present at every moment. You can't do it. It's just not possible. No one can do that. But some of the moments be present. Put the phone down occasionally, take pictures, watch the fireworks, take the lake trips, play the games, turn up the music, enjoy the cookouts, because one day you'll realize that the things that felt ordinary were actually the moments that mattered the most. You know, the little conversations, the backyard adventures, the traditions, the chaos. You know, you you may not miss the snack request, you may not miss hearing I'm bored, but you'll miss the people saying it. And that's what makes summer special. And maybe, maybe that's what all this comes down to the road trips, the vacations, the traditions, the playlist, the boredom battles, the chaos. Those are the things that what makes summer what it is. And while they might not feel special in the moment, one day they're the things that we'll remember the most. And there you have it. My completely unofficial, highly questionable, data-proved guide to surviving the summer. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that surviving summer isn't about having the perfect plan. It's not about having the perfect vacation, the perfect schedule, or even the perfect weather. Because let's be honest, something is always going to go wrong. The kids are gonna get bored, you're gonna end up spending more money than you planned, somebody's gonna forget to put on sunscreen, and at least one family outing is probably going to turn into a story you'll be laughing about for years. And that's kind of the point. The best parts of the summer are rarely the things we plan, the unexpected moment, the road trips, you know, the backyard cookout, the family tradition, the random Tuesday afternoons that somehow become lifelong memories. So as you're making your summer plans this year, don't put too much pressure on yourself to make everything perfect. Just be present, enjoy the little moment. Take all the trips, be random, and make memories. Because before you know it, the backpacks will be coming out, the school routines will return, and another summer will be in the books. Now I'd love to hear from you. What's your number one key to surviving the summer? Join the conversation on our Facebook page, Mostly Me Occasionally Wise, and share your best summer survival tips. You can also email the show anytime at mostlymecontact at gmail.com. I'd love to hear your stories, episode ideas, and the lessons you've learned along the way. Thanks for spending part of your day with me. And until next time, stay mostly you occasionally wise.